Ever-since moving abroad I have been making periodical trips back home to Poland. Recently while visiting my family I strongly felt the passing of time.
About 15 years ago my grandfather suffered a severe stroke, and my grandmother had been caring for him until it was no longer possible. She occupied the time she was not spending looking after him by creating different things: reworking her leather jackets into bags, making plastic jewellery, decorating boxes. When her older sister started selling eggs and jams at the local market, my grandmother realised that there may be a demand for seasonal decorations and started to make them too.
My grandmother started purchasing various home decorations, textiles and accessories, gradually turning a coping mechanism into an obsession. She appears to have found peace in the process of crafting her own decorations from the items she purchases and selling them at the market.
All of the goods she buys are very cheap and disposable, she seems lured in by bargain deals and 2-for-1 offers that she was not used to in her youth. Plastic bunnies, snowmen, baby Jesus, fake plants, traditional textiles, dead flowers and bright ribbons; my grandmother is trying to recreate the aspects of Polish traditions that are dear and familiar to her from combinations of new mass-produced and plastic items. She was raised Catholic and her wreaths focus around themes of Christmas and Easter. These two most important celebrations in Polish culture connect her with traditions from her home and her childhood.
Besides her personal story, my grandmother’s sculptural creations could be seen as a metaphor for the lives of many people from her generation. To me the wreaths she creates combine the new added quality of the capitalist influence alongside nostalgia for the past. They express what came with living through the system transition which took part in her life, leaving her often confused.
Through these images I wanted to share the playful element, a sense of childhood fun which my grandmother holds onto, combined with the therapeutic influence of creation. Making these photos together resembled our old childhood play and escapism, where we would connect without discussing anything serious, and take control of what was currently happening. Even though my grandmother doesn’t like to admit it brings her joy, I feel that the process of creation allows her to focus on what is in front of her.
Last year my grandfather had to be admitted to a hospice, and sadly he passed away in the summer of 2022. Observing my grandmother now without my grandfather I realise that she does not know how to allow herself to be still, and to be present she must be occupied.
There is a new element of grief associated with my grandfather passing. To some the wreath symbolises death, to others the circle of eternal life.
Visiting the cemetery, we were discussing how there used to be no plastic flowers and how now they are all you can see. My grandmother appreciates their practicality, and since my grandpa’s passing she created a few bunches of fake flowers to decorate his grave.
Commissioned by Hapax Magazine, Issue 3 (Winter 2022/23)